I strive for perfection in everything I do. To the point of obsession or sickness. I focus on the details of every task, making sure they are perfect, and will not accept anything less. I work, rework, and edit until everything is just right. I will not, can not, turn anything in unless it's been checked and rechecked at twice (and most of the time it's more than that). Deep breathes, I tell myself. It will be okay, if I miss a question every once in a while. It's okay, if it's not perfect all the time. It's okay, if I just do what is asked of me, and not more. But I don't listen. So I'll continue to worry, to fret, and obsess. To feel nervous and filled with anxiety at any mention of a test, quiz, or exam. This type of nervousness must be a genetically inherited. My father used to be the same way. He tells me to just let it go, take a deep breath and get it done. But, shouldn't he know better than anyone else, that letting go of that fear is easier said than done? On the other hand, I guess he should give me hope, that one day, I will be able to let it all go. To quote The Beatles, "Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. Whisper words of wisdom, let it be." I just need to keep telling myself that.
- Katie
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